I’m writing to you in your memory, so it would be fair enough to say that this letter serves to bid you farewell (while I usually write these letters to say my welcome). February, surely your name is a mouthful, but contrarily, your days are quiet and subdued. It would be so easy to forget you as the holiday season has passed, summer seems too far away and by now, we have become accustomed to the wintery cold. It would be so easy to forget you, but despite all, you have made yourself known. I think I have grown a lot in your span of 29 days (hello leap year). February, I had found myself battling insecurities – a feeling that had hardly touched me since my middle school years. I have been struggling with feelings of inadequacy for a while now and I had found myself yearning a sense of accomplishment or achievement. In any form. To remind myself that I am of worth. But February as you neared your end, something within me had shifted.
February, I thank you and your days. While I worried myself with things that had missed me, you taught me that they were never meant for me anyway. I found that the comfort of The Comforter is greater than any discomfort. And I am learning to stop measuring myself to others//measuring myself to the worldly scale. Surely, this is a journey, but I am grateful to you February and all your happenings. You have done both of us a favour by making your days ones to remember.
I have always known God but through His trials, I had found means to become closer to Him. And the more I sought God, the more I found Him. February, to those in a similar boat to mine, I encourage them to seek God in as many ways possible: establishing routinely prayers, frequent zhikr & istaghfar, charity, attaining further ilm, and surrounding yourself in company that knows God and reminds you of His glory.